When Your Nervous System Limits Your Skill

There are some sessions that are peaceful and full of bliss and expansion. And, occasionally with the de-armouring bodywork clients, they can let go in ways that surprises me. The volume of their release increases, as does the intensity of emotion; the sheer force of it is immense. There are times when someone suddenly lets rip and it feels like, oh my God, that's a lot.

For a moment, there can be a little flash of panic. A thought like, how is this going to play out? or how am I going to land the plane here?

Practitioners who hold space in deep work will recognise this moment. Breathwork facilitators, somatic practitioners, trauma therapists. When a session escalates, certain thoughts can run through the mind:

I hope I can handle this. Am I doing this right? What happens if this escalates further?

You can feel the nervous system react; a flutter of the heart, a tightening in the body, and a pull to do something quickly.

At that edge of capacity, practitioners can try to fix the situation. They may rush the process just to regain control and it can pull you entirely into your head.

But those moments are actually the edge of growth.

The sessions where the most energy and emotion move are often the most profound ones, because they have pushed me to the edge of my capacity. And each time I spend time at that edge, something in me grows.

At first, it was extremely uncomfortable for me. But with familiarity comes trust.

Now, when something big happens in a session, my instinct is not to rush or fix it.

I return to the heart, to compassion and trust. Trusting that their nervous system will level out, that they will pendulate, and if there is a huge release, there will be time for the nervous system to settle.

There is less urgency to control the process and more trust in the unfolding of it.

Clients will always calm down, especially when you stay calm. And they are often deeply grateful for being able to release something that powerful while being witnessed.

What has helped immensely is studying the autonomic nervous system and understanding what is happening physiologically when people move into these states.

Also practicing and studying techniques of regulation, about tracking, about internally resourcing, about how to stretch the window of tolerance.

Preparation has become essential.

At the beginning of a session, I spend time helping the nervous system find a sense of safety and trust. That becomes the anchor point we can return to if things escalate later.

Without that anchor, there is nothing to come back to.

This is why pre-session calls and intake questionnaires matter. They help you understand what someone is carrying and how their nervous system typically responds.

If someone has high levels of trauma or difficulty regulating themselves, the work may need to be paced. Sometimes that means coaching first, or offering a series of sessions rather than trying to create a profound experience all in one go.

Earlier in my career, I often felt pressure to deliver the most powerful experience possible in a single session.

Now I understand that sometimes less is more and reading what each session needs is a skill that grows.

Capacity is also trainable. And when your capacity grows, your ability to hold intensity, emotion, projection, and transformation grows with it.

If you are curious about where your current practitioner capacity sits, I created a short quiz:

What Kind Of Practitioner Are You Becoming?

It explores your capacity, your blind spots, and your next stage of development.

Take your time with it.