Holding Power Cleanly

Power is everywhere. 

Obviously your boss has power over you, your landlord has power over you, the algorithm has power over you. And yes, your dog has power over you, probably more than you'd like to admit.

Power isn't exceptional. It's woven into almost every relationship we have and even if you are denying its existence, that doesn't diminish it.

We haven't had great examples of power. Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. I need not say any more about that.

However, power is present everywhere, especially in healing spaces. 

And With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility.

When someone comes to a session carrying something vulnerable; a shame they've never said out loud, a wound they've been managing alone for years, and they place that in the room with another person, the asymmetry is real and it's immediate.

And when that same person enters a non-ordinary state, through breathwork, through deep somatic work, through de-armouring, the concentration increases again. What gets said in and around these lands differently. It bypasses the usual filters. The practitioner's voice, their suggestions, even their silences, carry a weight they might not fully realise.

Think about a doctor, or a dentist. Much of the population takes what they say as gospel because we've placed them in a position of authority and we're often in a state of vulnerability when we see them. The white coat and clinical setting does something. The authority also does something.

The same dynamic operates in healing work. Often more so, because the work goes deeper.

This is why I'm careful particularly when a client is asking for advice. 

I would rather ask re-direct questions that help them arrive at their own understanding rather than mine. Active listening is one of the most demanding skills in this work. But it's the right tool because the goal is to create the conditions for someone to find their own conclusions.

A client once spent a session naming behaviour from her partner that was clearly causing harm. The answer seemed obvious. But obvious to me isn't the same as true for her. So I reflected rather than directed, by repeating her own words back until she could hear the pattern in them. She found the conclusion herself which is the only way it counts.

I came across the term 'crossing the karmic line' from one of my teachers, Shashi Soluna. If I lean in during a vulnerable moment and suggest even gently, even with the best intentions; that someone should leave their partner, change their career, put a hard boundary in place, I could be dramatically influencing their free will.

It might not feel like much. But it's huge because it came from me, at a moment when they're particularly open, and my voice carries a perceived authority they may not even be conscious of.

That's not a responsibility I take lightly.

Holding power well isn't a solo act. It requires reflection. It requires accountability. And it requires the humility to know that even with the best intentions, influence is always operating whether you're tracking it or not.

The question is just whether you're paying attention.

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